Maybe a Presbyterian minister shouldn't admit that they struggle to understand theology. I have to say that I am a little concerned that this might be taken the wrong way. Still, I will take the plunge and say it out loud. I don't like theology. Never have, never will.
Oh, I should clarify.
See, the word theology is seemingly simple to define. Theo = God Ology = study of Not to hard to work out, right? You wouldn't think so except for the fact that numerous church fathers, bishops, philosophers, pastors, bloggers, and yes, even theologians have through the centuries hi-jacked the word theology to suit their own descriptions of certain Christian belief systems. Thus you have Pauline theology, Augustinian theology, Calvinist theology (which interestingly enough is NOT always a synonym of Reformed theology), Neo-Orthodox theology... The list goes on, endlessly into yawns. Even worse is the fact that somewhere someone proposed the idea that philosophy is the handmaiden of theology. The result? What poses as theology today is an impenetrable force field of long paragraphs, exclusivist systems, and expensive textbooks. That is theology. Or, for lack of a better term, that is what many people today call theology.
Personally I was always a little bit skeptical about this whole theology thing, at least as it is expressed in those terms. It seems that people spend a lot of their 'study time' arguing about their individual interpretations of the bible and its commentators rather than studying. I am even surprised at the vehemence that certain members of my lectionary group display when someone makes a comment with which they happen to disagree. I guess it figures. Go back and read Calvin or Luther. They spend a significant amount of their time arguing points of doctrine by using the pen to rhetorically assassinate their 'opponents'. Bloggers have nothing on the Institues of the Christian Religion!
I wonder why it has served the churches purposes to contain orthodoxy theology into little boxes. My college band instructor reminded us that we played our instruments we weren't merely practicing how to manipulate wooden and metal devices to make certain sounds. We were acting as stewards of creation by mastering our instruments and teaching them to obey us. Musicians are stewards of Creation who use the very air to bring glory to God. Can't the study of music be theology? Surely we can learn about God when we read our bibles. Yet, does James 1:22 tell us that we are are not merely to try to understand the Word by hearing, but instead to practice it by doing? When do acts of justice, love, and compassion become theology?
I accept that I have to labor within certain bounds to keep my theology orthodox. I am, after all, a Presbyterian minister and I should expect to keep some level of consistency with others of the same denomination. I am not going to start praying to Mary or go on a pilgrimage to Mecca any time soon. I am safe. Yet, there are those whose box for God is so small that it truly frightens me. They create a club within a club, seeking converts and slaying enemies. I really don't want to participate in that enterprise. I will admit, I am not theologically adept. I forgot Hebrew the minute I passed OT II and I didn't even read half of my Theology assignments. But I love reading and praying and hearing hymns and seeing what the people of my congregation can do. I may not know for sure if I can assent to the Five Points of Calvinism any more, but I do know that God is working in me, through me, and with me to do some pretty neat things. I am going to spend some time figuring out what that is. I'll save Barth for later.
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