Angry...not a problem.

I get angry a lot. Not mad...angry. My emotional make up does not allow me to let anger slip away easily. It is hard to keep from dwelling on anger, as Yoda would be quick to tell you. Anger is what doomed Anakin Skywalker and turned him into Darth Vader. Anger led to the Dark Side, the easy path. As he would go on to teach Anakin's son Luke turning to the Dark Side is a constant temptation for those who seek to have power.

You don't have to have a Stormtrooper helmet on your mantle to know that anger is not merely a problem for Jedi in the Star Wars universe. We all struggle with our anger. Yet, we realize that anger leads to power. When people who are angry use their rhetorical talents to lash out others, they have taken the quick and easy path. They have turned to the Dark Side because they realize what power their anger holds will get the job done much sooner if they can make other people angry. Hence my struggle in writing blogs.

Every day I return to several websites that tempt me to take the quick and easy path. My anger boils and I want to lash out. I stew over feelings of bitterness and look for a way to harm others through my words. Thankfully, I often fail to make full use of my anger. Others are more adept. As I read what other Presbyterian ministers write on certain websites and blogs, I just can't imagine what it must feel like to be so angry all the time. Indeed, it is those who possess that loudest voices that get heard. There are some very loud voices. While I understand where many are coming from theologically and politically, it is the anger that turns me away.

As much as I struggle with anger, I am glad that God helps me to restrain it. Anger can tear someone apart. The Dark Side of all of us threatens to undo us and everything we preach: love, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control, etc. You get the picture. Down in my heart I know I would make a terrible Sith Lord. Still, that does not stop me from having those Darth Vader moments where I desire my thoughts and words to have absolute power. (Thank God I don't have a Force Grip to go with my anger!) Today I pray that the Holy Spirit will diffuse my anger so that I can enjoy the presence of Christ this week. It is not my job to overturn the tables in the Temple. Jesus is the only one I know who can pull of the righteous indignation thing.

Why I would rather give up eating at Burger King than go to hell

I know that many Presbyterian pastors are frustrated with the national office of the Presbyterian Church. What I don't understand is how anyone who is a Christian can scoff at the efforts of our those in our denomination who are asking large corporations to think about the true price we pay for cheap food. The issue is complex for sure and I am not so much of a news junky that I follow all the details of the story. I have, however, seen the living conditions of many of these farmworkers. I have heard first-hand how Florida farmers high illegal aliens to work in their fields, then stiff them for the work they've done, essentially blackmailing them into silence with the threat of deportation. I have seen the children who do poorly in school because of the lack of family stability. It is a horrible situation.

I am not sure what the proper legal steps would be to address this situation. Perhaps certain critics have it right when they peg us as naive to think that we can make a difference. I would have to agree that we are probably taking on the wrong people in a corporation when it is mainly the farmers themselves who are to blame for low wages and terrible working conditions. Yet, cheap labor is the reason why you can get a $5 meal at Burger King. It hardly seems worth it at that price. How can anyone who has read the bible stand up for these farmers? How can anyone who takes the prophets, including Jesus himself, seriously mock these efforts? I just don't get it.

Doctors, Psychologists, Scientists, and other Jerks who get it wrong!

I don't know why it is that some pastors feel the need to take on the entire scientific establishment. Whether it is the subject of Creationism or the fight over Global Warming, overwhelming scientific consensus apparently causes a lot of suspicion among my more conservative colleagues. I can't figure it out. We seem perfectly content to let scientists develop computers for us. I don't see anyone completely rejecting the medical profession and performing surgery on their own. Yet, when it comes to some issues, we act like the men and women who have dedicated their lives to scientific study are the naive ones who base most of their assumptions on the leftist agendas taught by their communist college professors.

Honestly, I have no idea what I think about evolution theory. I haven't studied it and don't plan on doing so. I don't think I have much to contribute to the conversation and am generally bored with it to tell the truth. As for the global warming deal, I would also have to take a pass. I don't understand the science behind it and I do see tremendous hypocrisy in someone like Al Gore who leaves Yeti-sized "carbon footprints" all over the grounds of his mansion. The thing that gets to me though is that regardless of whether or not someone agrees with the science, it is generally a good idea to protect the environment. It doesn't take some scientific theory for me to understand that their is no future in fossil fuels or that it probably isn't a good thing to fill our landfills with so many plastic bags. You don't have to agree with the weather-man to see that that is probably a bad idea.

In the same vein, I don't think we all have to agree on an issue like homosexuality to engage it pastorally. The overwhelming majority of doctors and psychologists agree it is pychologically harmful to subject homosexuals to therapy that is designed to make them straight. I don't believe for a minute that these doctors are part of some left-wing attack on American values. This comes directly from their clinical experience: reparative therapy is damaging to individuals who profess same-sex attraction. That is it. It is not a value judgement. It is not a statement on gay culture. It is a time-tested observation made not at the behest of some advocacy group, but from clinical experience.

That being said, I am sure this information comes as a challenge. It certainly does for many of our more conservative brothers and sisters. I myself don't know whether I come down on the nature or nurture side of the debate. However, it doesn't matter. The challenge for me is to respond pastorally. Before I make any value judgement, I have to understand that we are all children of God and that I must think and pray before counselling anyone. In this case, thinking means doing research and the research says that you cannot 'ungay' someone. Okay. That is where I have to start.

I think 'ungayification' is a comfortable place for many pastors to dwell. It is a way to push a perceived problem off onto someone else. It makes the problem go away. To paraphrase the movie 'Saved', sending someone to treatment isn't as much about the person being treated as it is reassurance for the pastor/parent/spouse who sends that person there. The fact that someone can be harmed or damaged permanently from these treatments does frighten me. I would never want to be responsible for that. Never. Unforunately many pastors (as well as their parishoners) see themselves as spiritual therapists and are quick to apply a spiritual remedy to a issue that is mental, physical, and emotional all rolled into one.

I think the main challenge is for us to listen to the words of those who are knowledgeable and still maintain our spiritual integrity so that we can address the individual. I, for one, will be honest and say that I struggle with how to make sense out of what the bible has to say about homosexuality. I have never really gone along with the hermeneutical gymnastics required to somehow excise these texts from the scriptures. I wouldn't want to do that on any issue, whether it is divorce, drunkeness, sexual immorality, or greed. We have the biblical text as it is. What we do with it is for me the more important issue. Take an issue such as divorce and you will see how the church has come around to being pastoral when it would be much easier to be critical.

I don't know why there is so much pressure in our church culture for us to 'pick sides' in these debates. I am not pro or anti anything. Honestly, I find the bible to be a complex document and find Jesus to be a complex person. My confidence in the issues does not come from knowing what is right or wrong. It comes from my faith in the work of the Holy Spirit. I am a not a doctor, a psychologist or a scientist. I am a pastor. I respond with the love of Christ.

Therapy Presbyterian Style

I have kept very few of my New Year's resolutions. In fact, there are only two that I can think of that I have kept with any sort of commitment. The first is that I have indeed only spent $12 or less on used (not new) CD's each month. Pretty astonished at keeping that one so far. My other triumph is that I have drastically reduced my number of visits to buffets. I used to love buffet joints, but now have only allowed myself one visit a month and am no worse off for it. Now, if I could just remember the rest of the list.

I do faintly remember one of my failed resolutions. It seemed silly at the time, but as I look back on it, this particular resolution would have done me a lot more good than the rest. I had planned on taking a year-long break from watching the journalistic train-wreck known as The Layman. For those who don't know, The Layman or specifically in this case The Layman Online, is a Presbyterian tabloid that is dedicated to conservative causes in the Presbyterian Church. Now I don't have anything against conservative causes in general. However, The Layman is particularly notorious among Presbyterians for its somewhat suspect journalism and its bitter tone towards people and events in the PC(USA). I thought I could easily skip this part of my morning routine, but alas, that bright yellow banner is much too tantilizing to the senses. I just have to read it.

As I browse the online edition, I am often drawn to the Letters To the Editor page, which more or less serves as a highly moderated discussion board. A dedicated core of letter writers dominates the discussion, however, I do give The Layman kudos for printing a variety of responses to their content, including negative comments. Anyway, I have longed to write a letter to editor for some time, but on several previous occasions was met with such scorn (from pastors none the less...Jim Yearsley and Russ Westbrook specifically) that I dare not put myself in the position of being rhetorically assassinated again. Instead, I had decided that anytime I felt the urge, I would write a letter to The Layman and just save it to my Draft box. Well, I thought to myself, I might as well publish something on this page. So from now on, this will be my 'letters to The Layman' junk pile. Knowing what little I do about the Presbyterian Blogosphere, I think some posts may be read by a few interested leaders. For the most part, I am just doing this as a form of self-preservation.